


Not another High School Fanfic!

by Wierdowithagun



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Character Death, Crack, Death by orgasm, General rediculousness, M/M, NaruSasu - Freeform, Regular Humor, SasuNaru - Freeform, Sexual Humor, Swearing, Yaoi, boy on boy, collective orgasms, dumpster sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:17:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wierdowithagun/pseuds/Wierdowithagun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke is a super-popular cool guy at school and Naruto is a stupid orphan weirdo but will they find yaoi in each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not another High School Fanfic!

Sasuke was totally like the super-hot super cool class president and every girl just wet their panties when they saw him walk by. Class presidents are totally something not-nerdy that is super important in high school, not anything like being a sports all-star or having a super awesome bo. Nope, not Sasuke, somehow he was in his own level of cool because even all the dudes wet their panties when he walked by because don't you know everyone and their dog is gay and likes hardcore butt play when they're in high school.

And then there was this stupid nerd Naruto who didn't have any parents and was a total nerd because he walked around being all friendly and saying hi to everyone all the time, like, how annoying is that? What a fucking attention hog, not like Sasuke who ignores everyone and said things like 'I fucking hate you, leave me alone." and "I'm serious, go kill yourself, no one likes you." and "God you're so annoying, can't I just go cut myself in the bathroom in peace?" He is SOOO nice and dreamy.

Anyway this one day Sasuke was in class and Naruto was in the same class and they were both like, looking at the teacher and paying attention which is like soooo low of Naruto to copy Sasuke being so cool and dreamy like that, because you know doing your homework and getting good grades is what the cool kids do in high school instead of putting everything off until the last minute in favor of drinking and partying and screwing anything they can get their hands on.

And Sasuke stood up and turned around and he was like "Hey you fucking dork, I don't like this seat because someone shit their pants in it or something it's all warm and gooey, give me yours."

And Naruto made a face and was like "You fucking idiot that's not the seat someone shit in your pants."

And Sasuke just rolled his eyes and struck a pose and all the girls in the class died because they had such hardcore orgasms over the totally cool kid that just shit his own pants. So after like 10 minutes the classroom was full again because you gotta know the school keeps transfers constantly on file in case any girls ever die or orgasms from that super-cool kid Sasuke.

Then the bell rang and the teacher put a gun to his head and fucking shot himself because there was no fucking way he was going to find out that he was actually Kakashi and he was set as the friendly teacher that all the kids like even though he's secretly addicted to child pornography in another fucking stupid high school fanfic.

So whoever he was died and all the girls screamed except for then Sasuke went over and kicked him and shrugged and walked away so they all went running after him instead of calling 911 and the police.

No that dumb kid Naruto stayed behind and did that while holding the mans dead body and crying and doing CPR for 3 hours until the emergency people arrived. God he's such a stupid nerd, who does he think he is?

Then it was time for lunch and Super-popular Sasuke sat in the corner all alone sulking about how bad his life sucks because it turns out he didn't have any parents either and he was totally living in the dumpster out back of the school which explained why he reeked of death and fecal matter on a daily basis and why his hair was always sticking up in the back like a nasty greasy death trap. And all the girls sat opposite him and ate their food while trying not to die of orgasms and all the guys sat with the girls wishing they were Sasuke so the other boys would want to shoot a yaoi film with them because not a single one was straight, duh.

But not that dumb kid Naruto he went and sat by Sasuke and he was like "Hey I heard you don't have any parents, I know how it feels man and I'm here if you ever want to talk about it."

And Sasuke looked at him and farted and then grabbed him by the collar and squealed "You little loser don't fucking ever talk to me again or I'm going to slit your wrists and watch you bleed out and then slit my own and follow suit."

And all the girls swooned because he was just so attractive and friendly and nice.

And then Sasuke pulled Naruto across the table and rubbed his face in the spot where he farted and got up and left. And Naruto watched after him because he should totally hate that guy but instead got a boner.

So class-president, local-cool-guy Sasuke went to his next class and Naruto came in and sat beside him and said, "Why are you such a cock?"

And Sasuke was like "Why don't you suck my cock?" Because he totally realized that Naruto was awesome and he wanted to tap that shit yo.

And so the two boys ditched class and went home and had hardcore bloody gorey yaoi sex in Sasuke's dumpster and they were both found dead the next day and a statue was put up of Sasuke for the horrible loss and the dumpster was named after Naruto because he was still a total dweeb and no one liked him because like, he was just so nice and friendly to everyone.

The end.


End file.
